Hey y’all!
This post was originally crafted over at SeeTheButterfly.com. After much reflection, I have decided to discontinue that page. It served me well. I will be forever grateful to the idea that encouraged me to build my full voice, without fear (mostly). Now, it is time to come back to what I always believed:
- I should be able to put my name on all the things I publish
- I can embrace the idea that I am all over the place
- Wonders a beautiful
- It’s okay not to niche
I originally thought this post would be in my Academia section. I have decided against that as well. But I did want to repost and revamp just a little because it works here for the New Year. There will be other posts like that that migrate their way over. I’ll always tell you and I hope together we can engage with them in a new way.
xoxo
*Updated, originally posted 2/5/21
Happy New Year Y’all!
Yes, I know it is already February, but whatever. The end of December was all about family. Our oldest daughter got engaged!! January was a blur. Between moving our second oldest to her new college, starting the Spring semester myself, work, and *waves hands erratically* everything else, this is the first week I have felt like my daily planner was functional and not on fire. Judging from conversations I have had, I am not the only one. So, if this is you too, Happy New Year. If it isn’t, leave me your secrets in the comments.
This spring semester is already my favorite so far. I have the opportunity to take two classes that make me all giddy inside in person – like in a real class, with a real professor, with real other students, with real conversation, with real faces.
Let me take a moment to commend Georgia Southern on the job they are doing in the current environment. The safety protocols are in place and adhered to in an effort to make everyone safe and mostly comfortable. After having my last face to face class session moved to an online format, I was worried I would miss another opportunity to take face to face classes. While I am fine completing online work, there are some areas, Lit Theory, Creative Writing, Philosophy, etc., that are just different in a relational environment. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the university attempting to make that a possibility.
Back to my favorite semester so far. Astronomy and Mythology are both online. Astronomy is one of those required core classes that I only take because I have to. Still, the material is pretty interesting so that’s a win. Mythology is absolutely fascinating, and I would have preferred to take in person. Unfortunately, my schedule didn’t work that way. However, I am lucky to have kids who have loved the subject for a long time (thanks Rick Riordan). The littlest little in particular has been especially generous with her time and conversations with me. Her insight and delivery are fantastic and having the perspective of a brand-new teenager has brought a wholly different and interesting level to the subject. And, at least for now, mom is just a tiny bit cool in the eyes of my nearly 14-year-old – I’ll take that as often as she’ll give it.
Introduction to Literary Theory and Creative Writing are both face to face. Four weeks in and my mind is blown repeatedly over all the things I didn’t know about this subject that I love. More and more often I get frustrated with my high school experience. If I had known then what I know now, I am certain I would have been an academic. While I am on my way now, it is tough to feel like I will ever have enough time to acquire all knowledge I don’t have.
As skilled as I am in this whole higher learning thing, it can be intimidating to interact with some of these kids. Granted they aren’t all kids. I have a bad habit of assuming I am the oldest person in the room. I usually am, but I consistently parlay that into an “old enough to be your mother” idea – which isn’t necessarily true. I have often couched into it because it makes me feel more secure in my knowledge, in my ability to keep up; what they have in youth and pliability, I make up for in experience. That works. Usually.
But let me tell you. There are some fucking smart kids in these classes. That’s when it occurred to me how much time they still have to become even more smart, more experienced, more everything. They have so much of their best years still ahead of them. It is ridiculous really to feel like you are on the downward slope…but I am. Unless I live to be 89, I have made the halfway point of my life.
…what they have in youth and pliability, I make up for in experience.
However, I don’t dwell in this idea. I can’t. I am fairly certain that it is this very kind of thinking that can catapult a person into a full-on midlife crisis happens. Next thing you know I am shopping at Forever 21, teasing my hair, and lamenting the fact that my false eyelashes slap the inside of my no line bifocals. I have an amazing non midlife crisis life. I do not have time for all that craziness.
What I do have time for is making today count. You know I love that Rocky quote – “One step at a time, one punch at time, one round at a time.” And that’s just what I am going to do.
In that vein, there will be more thoughts spurred by schoolwork here. In my Creative Writing class, we have to keep a writer’s journal – something I always meant to do, but, well, you know. But now that this writer’s journal is a requirement for a grade, a different part of my brain has kicked in. No way am I going to let the fear of writing something stupid get in the way of my 4.0 and seeing my name on the President’s List. I have hard stuff like science and math attempting to do that. But sitting down and writing a minimum of 150 words a day? Please.
In addition to the journal, we also have writing projects which he (and sometimes the class as a whole) critiques either in class or by the professor depending on the time we have. Ok, so let me be super honest and tell you the “in class” part was a surprise. And not just to me. The first time (meaning the second day of class) Dr. Morris posted one of our pieces up on the projector saying, “Ok, let’s go through what you all turned in,” there was an audible tightening in the room. And he did just that. He went through each person’s submission and read it aloud to the class. That shouldn’t be a big deal – it was.
That part has gotten easier and the class is becoming a lot of fun. Dr. Morris is fantastic about just giving us permission to have fun and suck. There’s a pretty good bit of freedom in that allowance – especially given the fact that we are spending quite a bit of time right now writing poetry. That is amazingly uncomfortable to me. I haven’t done that in almost 30 years, and it isn’t good. But have fun and don’t be afraid to suck helps. So does two fingers of scotch. I don’t even care how cliché that sounds. It is just that accurate.
Dr. Morris also gave us permission to post/publish/workshop our work outside of class. I wasn’t sure that was going to be allowed. But true to his teaching style, he just wants to see us enjoy the process and improve. He’s kind of great that way.
I say all that to say that if you start seeing stuff that looks a little different, that’s where it is coming from (or at least how it started). Also, up until now, everything in here has pretty much been my voice, my life, my truth. My person, if you will. Now, there will be things that are not my truth but my imagination. Dr. Morris (and I assume a whole host of other people) call it my persona. Just figured I’d give you a heads up before you ran across something and your brain flipped into “What the hell is going on with April?”
Or maybe the true stuff does that enough anyway so you don’t even notice anymore. Either way, Happy New Year, y’all!
P.S. Here’s the Creed clip…still proving that every life lesson you need to learn is in a Rocky movie
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